In July of 2003, I had a very bad motorcycle crash. In the crash, I broke both femurs, my left hand, my right elbow and my back. I was not wearing a helmet so also sustained a head injury to the left side of my head. The head injury left me deaf in my left ear but with a crazing case of tinnitus and double vision because my left eye does not track properly. Due to the double vision, I wear a patch over my left eye.
About a year after getting out of the hospital (1 month CCU, 2 months in rehab), I made a visit to one of my sisters. During the visit, I met for the first time my twin great nephews who were two at the time. While my sister and niece were trying to get the boys to say "Uncle Stan," one of the boys popped off with "Uncle Pirate."
The boys had been watching a television show that features "Captain Feathersword," a pirate that wears a patch over one eye.
So as a result of a cute kid's cute remark, I've become the pirate of the desert, Uncle Pirate.
In New Mexico, a pirate can get a driver's license:
Update 2014: I've had much improvement since I wrote this. I no longer wear the patch although I still have double vision that comes and goes. I also no longer drive. My reflexes are too slow and I have trouble with my vision at times. I nearly hit a child. Hitting a child would really tear me up. I no longer take the chance. Now, although I still can't walk, I can honestly say I feel great.© 2008, 2014 Stan McCann